Fotografía de Jordan Bauer |
Por la noche, mi marido se lo quita.
Lo pone en la cómoda junto a su billetera y las llaves,
dejando, por un momento, los atavíos de la virilidad.
A veces, cuando él no está mirando, lo tomo,
saboreo su peso, la cara oscura, marcada con plata,
la correa de piel de avestruz marrón con su pequeños erizos
erectos como la carne se erige en placer.
Él quiso un reloj y se alegró cuando se lo di.
Y ya que llevamos juntos diez años
parecía la ocasión perfecta para obsequiarle un reloj,
un reconocimiento de los intrincados logros
del matrimonio, sus muchas negociaciones y triunfos sin nombre.
Pero esta noche, cuando lo vi allí tendido entre
sus recibos arrugados y monedas dispersas,
pensé en la esposa de mi hermano volviendo a casa,
regresando del forense, llevando sus anillos, su reloj
en una bolsa ziplock transparente, y cómo nos sentamos en la mesa
y la vaciamos en nuestras palmas,
su leve peso lo único que quedaba de él.
Qué extraña la forma en que un reloj sigue andando
incluso después de que el corazón se ha detenido. Mi abuelo
fue relojero y vivió su vida en Holanda
inclinado sobre una mesa limpia y bien iluminada, un cirujano del tiempo
atendiendo a los mecanismos internos: resorte,
rueda de escape, rueda de equilibrio. No puedo detenerlo,
la forma en que el hombre que amo ya va desapareciendo
en este mecanismo de metal y cuero
este contador de horas
que sostiene, con indiferencia precisa,
todos los minutos de su vida.
THE WATCH
At night, my husband takes it off,
puts it on the dresser beside his wallet and keys
laying down, for a moment, the accoutrements of manhood.
Sometimes, when he’s not looking, I pick it up
savor the weight, the dark face, ticked with silver
the brown, ostrich leather band with its little goosebumps
raised as the flesh is raised in pleasure.
He had wanted a watch and was pleased when I gave it to him.
And since we’ve been together ten years
it seemed like the occasion for the gift of a watch
a recognition of the intricate achievements
of marriage, its many negotiations and nameless triumphs.
But tonight, when I saw it lying there among
his crumpled receipts and scattered pennies
I thought of my brother’s wife coming home
from the coroner carrying his rings, his watch
in a clear, ziplock bag, and how we sat at the table
and emptied them into our palms,
their slight pressure all that remained of him.
How odd the way a watch keeps going
even after the heart has stopped. My grandfather
was a watchmaker and spent his life in Holland
leaning over a clean, well-lit table, a surgeon of time
attending to the inner workings: spring,
escapement, balance wheel. I can’t take it back,
the way the man I love is already disappearing
into this mechanism of metal and hide,
this accountant of hours
that holds, with such precise indifference
all the minutes of his life.
en The American Poetry Review and Best American Poetry 2017
s/d del autor |
Después de la muerte de mi hermano, su esposa estaba segura de que él vivía
dentro de su gato, Rocky. Él está allí adentro, ella decía, mirando
esos ojos en blanco, amarillos. Isma’il? Isma’il? ¿Me escuchas?
Ella le contaba a cualquier visitante cómo el gato se le metía en la cama,
ponía una pata en su mejilla, y simplemente la miraba. O cómo, en otras ocasiones,
se metía debajo de las sábanas, y ponía el lomo peludo contra su pecho.
Mi hermano lo había elegido cuando era solo un gatito,
lo trajo a casa para sus hijos. Y ahí estaba, todavía vagando
por los pasillos que él nunca volvería a pisar.
Echaría de menos llevar a los niños a la escuela, hacerles panqueques,
leerles un cuento antes de dormir por la noche. Así que, a pesar de que se retiró
de sus vidas con una sola bala apuntada a su corazón, ahora veo
que, si él pudiera, encontraría la forma de regresar a sus seres queridos,
no como un fantasma, sino caminando entre ellos, casi en silencio,
con sus tiernas patas. Quizás era lo mínimo que podría hacer,
subir las escaleras, con el calor de su pequeño cuerpo como única ofrenda,
sus ojos fríos y fijos.
THE CAT
After my brother died, his wife was sure he was living
inside their cat, Rocky. He’s in there, she’d say, staring into
those blank, yellow eyes. Isma’il? Isma’il? Can you hear me.
She’d tell anyone who came by how the cat would slip into their bed,
put a paw on her cheek, and just look at her. Or, other times,
crawl under the covers, turning his furred back to her chest.
My brother had picked out the cat when it was just a kitten,
brought it home for his kids. And there it was, still roaming
the hallways he would never set foot in again.
He’d miss driving them to school, making them pancakes,
reading them to sleep at night. So, even though he took himself
out of their lives with a single bullet aimed at his heart, I see now
that, if he could, he’d find a way back to those he loved —
not as a ghost, but to walk again among them, almost silently
on his tender paws. Perhaps it was the least he could do,
to pad up the stairs, only the heat of his small body to offer,
his cool and steady eyes.
en The Sun Magazine
After my brother died, his wife was sure he was living
inside their cat, Rocky. He’s in there, she’d say, staring into
those blank, yellow eyes. Isma’il? Isma’il? Can you hear me.
She’d tell anyone who came by how the cat would slip into their bed,
put a paw on her cheek, and just look at her. Or, other times,
crawl under the covers, turning his furred back to her chest.
My brother had picked out the cat when it was just a kitten,
brought it home for his kids. And there it was, still roaming
the hallways he would never set foot in again.
He’d miss driving them to school, making them pancakes,
reading them to sleep at night. So, even though he took himself
out of their lives with a single bullet aimed at his heart, I see now
that, if he could, he’d find a way back to those he loved —
not as a ghost, but to walk again among them, almost silently
on his tender paws. Perhaps it was the least he could do,
to pad up the stairs, only the heat of his small body to offer,
his cool and steady eyes.
en The Sun Magazine
Danusha Laméris
(Cambridge, Massachusetts, EE.UU., 1971)
Reside en Santa Cruz, California
Traducción de Beverly Pérez-Rego
Propuesta de traducción de Emma Gunst
para leer + en AQR Alaska Quarterly Review
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